Right, I'm off to Korea. The friendly side.

Korea has been home to me for four months now and I’m in love with her. She’s attractive, has Seoul, is wild at night and almost never wants to sleep. Okay, we are only in the early stages of our relationship, some refer to it as the lustful period, and we have yet to have our first argument. Regardless, I feel that we are at the stage where we will exchange the ‘L’ word with each other any day soon. I’m sure that she loves me as much as I am in love with her but, it does worry me that she still hasn’t introduced me to her parents (China and Japan) nor have I met her infamous sibling (North Korea).

Disclaimer: Everyone seems to be putting disclaimers on their blogs nowadays, so I figure my blog shouldn’t be missing out...

*All countries and persons referred to in this blog – even those based on real people and countries - are entirely real. All descriptions were accurate recorded at the time of the event – and then poorly regurgitated into the text on this blog. The Following blog may contain coarse and offensive language and therefore should not be viewed by ANYONE.*

Okay, now to get off this politically correct high horse and typecast the hell out of Korea and its people. In short, I have found the Korean people to be welcoming, friendly, hardworking and bloody good fun.

For example, on my first night in Korea I was locked out of my apartment, entirely my own fault - I lost the code to my door. This resulted in me sleeping on my doorstep. My neighbour, a balding and single middle-aged man (what the Korean’s refer to as an Ajeussi - 아저씨, saw me on the doorstep next to his and, after getting over his initial bewilderment of why a 6ft tall white man was sleeping next to his doorway in suburban Korea, welcomed me into his apartment with tea; helped me contact my landlord; and then bought me breakfast in a local restaurant.

There have been a number of times when Ajeussi have helped me out in times of need. Furthermore, they have provided me with hours of fun whilst here in Korean, especially when interacting with them in Korean Spas (Jim Jil Bangs - 찜질방. Ajeussi are masters of two things in these communal relaxation and health environments. First, they are pro’s at air drying their ass cracks – they have this fine art down to a ‘T’. Their first move is to lift one leg onto a work surface. There second move: slowly osculating the hair dryer between their butt crevice, gooch and balls. Finally, a towel used akin to dental floss – apart from the towel isn’t used between teeth, it’s used between two cheeks (not the facial kind either). The other thing that Ajeussi are masters at, particularly in Jim Jil Bangs, is engaging you in thoughtful and philosophical conversations whilst ogling at your genitalia. Sometimes the conversations are about society, politics or religion. But occasionally, the discussions are less formal and you can relax in the telling of jokes – of which neither of you understand the other’s.

However, it’s not just the old middle-aged men that are the stars of Korea, Ajuma (아주머 middle-aged women) deserve just as much credit. Several of them have come to my rescue when I have been lost. In fact, it has become somewhat of a lazy habit of mine to look bewildered in busy areas. When my facial expression is one of confusion, countless Ajuma seem to appear from nowhere to aid me. They are usually armed with questions such as: Where are you going? Are you lost? Would you like any help? Where are you trying to get to?

Fuck buying a Satnav in Korea, use ‘the look of perplexity’. It is cheaper, more accurate, won’t send you the wrong way down a one way street and it can provide you with some great amusement. Konglish (a hybrid between Korean and English) is the spoken language of Ajuma and it can: confuse you, make ironical sense, make no sense or all of the above. Either way, they are insistent on walking you to where you need to be. So, as long as you can pronounce the district that you are trying to get to (which, granted, can be difficult on occasions but surely less so than attempting to input the name into a Satnav... in Hangeul – the Korean alphabet) you will get to your destination safe and sound. On occasions, you might even get a complimentary cup of coffee and cake thrown in for your troubles.

This technique, and I like to call it a Self Taught and Navigational Skilled Technique (let’s call it STANST for short) has had the negative effect of making me a lazy arse when searching for new destinations but, on the positive side, I have had some awesome conversations and been given tours of area’s in Seoul that are not even on the map (or they might be but I can’t find them in Hangeul.)

Damn it. I just realised that the entire last paragraph was a divulgence to what this blog was supposed to be about, which is ‘the Korean culture and its people’. Ah well, this blog will be kept short and I will expand on some interesting subcultures, such as the Corean Coupled Clothing Culture, that have evolved in here. Ah and just to let you know, Corea in the last sentence was not a typo - it was traditionally spelt Corea, another topic that I will touch on in the next blog.

Signs of Asia

Well.... it's always good to know but, 

where exactly is here? 

This sign is next to my Taekwondo masters door.
 Number six did worry me. 

This is what I have always thought.

The sexiest pizza around

 after eating here, I lit a cigarette and 
enjoyed the moment

But how close.....a bit closer? 
closer? ahhhhhhhhhhhh

Why can't this sign be imported to 
England and placed in more pub toilets.

You can smoke in the toilet and
 by the dressing table but...

This sign was stuck to a toilet door. 

Any mandarin speakers... please 
do translate and post below 

At the time I think mine was a number '4'... 
the food is very spicy in China.

Positive discrimination....

Finding A Career.

Teaching is a profession that I had never considered pursuing, until last month. What changed my mind?

Whilst at University, I completed a number of internships at: the BBC, a large law firm (my degree is law) and one at a small engineering buriness. However, none of the positions gave me great enjoyment. So, after finishing University I started looking for alternative jobs. And then, I did what any career advisor would tell you NOT to do... I created a generic CV and sent it out to every job that sounded relatively interesting. The first companies to get in touch were recruitment firms and I took the first offer - in desperation to start earning some money. The job role was as a recruitment consultant. Recruitment firms made the job role sound A LOT more glamorous than it actually is. I was told at one of the interviews "within two years you will be earning so much money that you won't know what to do with it. On Friday we all went out as an office and ran up a £3000 Champagne bill. Not a problem. Petty cash. Start thinking about what cars you want now." The guy was the spitting image of David Brent (the Office), which made it very hard for me to keep a straight face.

To someone who was struggling to pay his next phone bill it sounded very appealing. So, after interviewing at 3 firms, I took the first offer from a company called Venn Group. I worked for 3 pay cheques and left. The business model in place is one that fosters competitiveness amongst ones colleagues. By having co-workers compete it increases productivity. In short, if you see that the person sat opposite you is doing more phone calls and placing more people; you will in turn feel driven to beat them.

However, the competitiveness adds additional burdens. The hours are relatively long. 8 - 6 four days a week and 8 -7 one day of the week. However, because of the competitive environment if you start and finish work on time, instead of arriving 40 minutes before and leaving 2 hours after, team members will often frown upon you. This is more than understandable on their behalf because the commission is paid on a team basis. Meaning, if the commission payment that month is low, it is easy to scapegoat the person who turns up for work on time, as opposed to members that turn up early and work late into the night. 55 hour weeks were the norm.

Additionally, because managers are competing against each other on target boards, positioned at the front of the office, senior members of the team become infatuated with the leading manager and irate if their team is lagging behind another; which results in managers turning to a Gordon Ramsay style of management... shout shout shout and have some belittling banter with team members who have the lowest KPI's.  The banter was one thing that I miss. 

Some people love the environment but it started to make me feel like working was something that I would never enjoy in life. Whilst there, I asked a colleague that thrived in the environment why he liked it. He replied that he got great satisfaction, a power kick from making as much money as he could; "overcharging clients and then telling a candidate that they have to take less money gives me a buzz. Its hustle and bustle. The dog with the biggest teeth". He loved the job but, it was a job that just wasn't for me. The people who worked there were great people. Ruthless as hell but still nice people.

So, after working crazy hours in a job that I had no passion for I decided to, once again, ignore the accepted advice that one "should choose a profession after careful consideration of their character and then doctor their CV and create a bespoke covering letter for their chosen role". My CV went back on monster (a job-site) and I Googled "JOBS".

Once again, every job that sounded relatively interesting I applied for - which on-line job-sites make very easy... just one click of a button. I still had bills to pay so I was, once again, willing to accept any job that came along... apart from one in recruitment.

A number of jobs got offered to me and once again I took the first one, which was as an intern at a PR company. To subsidise my living costs I took a waiting job. Working in PR is brilliant. The environment is relaxed and professional and the work is highly challenging and rewarding. However, working 9-5 as a PR assistant and then working as a waiter on week-nights and weekends was killing me. I did, however, finish the intern-ship and got a great reference from the firm.

I was offered a position when I finished the placement but, it was on a VERY low wage and I would have had to continue the second job. I was beat. And, once again, I was back to the drawing board. However, this time I had a couple of 'irons in the fire' (options); a couple of graduate jobs that I had applied for in my original round of CV blitzing had sifted me through to their next round. There was also a company based in the US who specialised in recruiting people to teach English in Asia that I had applied and interviewed for who offered me a job in South Korea.

As a lost recent undergraduate looking for inspiration, I did what 'they' (career advisor's) would tell you NEVER, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES to do. I numbered six options ...

1.) A graduate job with the government
2.) Joining the military as an officer
3.) A job based in Manchester in IT
4.) A graduate programme in Human Resources working for Santander (a large Bank)
5.) A graduate scheme working for a large food company
6.) The job teaching English as a foreign language in Korea.

I then rolled a dice. It landed on 6 and I accepted the job in Korea.

"It is relatively well paid and allows me to have a bit of an adventure", is what I told people when they asked me why I chose to take the job in Korea. I didn't want people to think I was having a mid-life crisis at the age of 22.

After getting my visa from the Korean Embassy in London and booking my flight (paid for on credit card - which would be reimbursed after a month of teaching) I started to think that my behaviour was somewhat irrational. But then reasoned that I was too far committed to fully evaluate whether teaching, a job that had never really interested me, in Korea was the best thing to do. So, I said goodbye to my family and friends and boarded my flight.

The weeks training course that the company provided was enjoyable; I made some great friends and started to learn some useful Korean phrases. Such as 'where is the toilet?', 'hi', 'how much does this cost'. And... I even learnt some phrases that are not so useful. 

After training I was sent to the school that I would be teaching at for a whole year. I was told that the school is in a fairly rural environment and outside of Seoul (Korea's capital city). As it turned out, the school is situated on the end of the metro line of Seoul and in an urban and high rise area. Win win.

My first month of teaching was hectic. In class, I often ran out of time or was left with a large chunk of time to fill. However, I was living life out of work/school...
Hiking Trips
Island tours
Biking trips
Palace visits
A weekend skiing
Taekwondo Classes
Foreigner Socials
Korean Language lessons
Nightclubbing
Bar hopping
Dancing with the Mayor of Seoul
Going watch films in 4D
Meeting people of different nationalities, races, backgrounds, beliefs and natures
Eating New Dishes - watching people eat bugs, live octopus'
Competing in jogging events
Chilling out on beaches
Seeing Seoul from different mountains
Shopping
Going to 찜질방's (Jim Jil Bangs)- Korean bathhouse with jacuzzi's, sauna's, hot-tubs, steam rooms, beds to sleep the night. Mostly all enjoyed whilst naked.
Singing at 노래방's (Nori Bang)- similar to Karaoke but you book a room with friends.

Celebrating Christmas and New Years in a city that is home to 24 million people (metropolitan)

Additionally, I was paying my bills and saving money.

And the icing on the cake... I found a profession that I find intellectually challenging, active, fun and worth while. A job that I am passionate about.

Moral of the story: "sometimes winging it works".